IT’S A BOY, PART 2

Part 1 was about how singleness shouldn’t be lived out like a pregnancy, in constant expectation of a boy. Check it out here.
Part 2 isn't about babies or boys… it's about men. 

I need to speak up about God’s sons.
They deserve to be treated and respected as men.
The same way we want to feel loved, men want to feel respected.

What happens when we let the respect for men go out the window?
1) We either hate them because of some other man’s sin.
OR
2) We treat them like babies, because babies can set a whole house on fire and it’s not their fault. They don’t know better. We tell ourselves that men have no self-control, and excuse them.

Babies can’t fend for themselves.
Babies don’t understand relationships.
Babies don’t know what they are doing wrong.
Babies need constant supervision and cannot be trusted.
Babies are innocent because they don’t know better.

We either pin men’s sins on them, condemning them, or we absolve them on the basis of ignorance.

Ladies, if there are wounds or fears in your heart, they’re gonna show.

How? The unforgiveness, the bitterness, the pain, the fear of the future, the ache of loneliness, the walls, the ‘what if no man ever loves me’ and the ‘what if I’m not noticed’ fears… well… they come right out of your mouth, sister.

“… For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”
Luke 6:45

Want a litmus test?
Does this kind of junk come out of your mouth?

“Men are liars and cheaters.”
“Men only want one thing.”
“Men don’t understand relationships.”
“Men don’t know how to share their feelings.”
“Men can’t ____________.”
“I don’t trust men.”

Busted?
Yeah, that's called cursing.
I used to think cursing meant saying dirty words, but I learned that these kinds of words are dirtier and more hurtful than any other bombs I could drop.
Even if you didn’t say it, you’ve probably had a time when you thought it.

Cursing, for one, is a sin.
“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.” James 3:9-10

And then it gets worse.
Curses become REAL.
Men walk right into curses, and the fear inside them manifests that they really are those things.

As a loving big sister, I have a humble request:

On this Good Friday of 2013,
I am begging you to stop cursing men.

Meet Antonio, my brother.

He used to be just a kid, but my brother grew up.
He is generous, willing, disciplined, smart.
He knows how to take care of himself.
When he lived with me, I’d come home and find him vacuuming.
(He knows I hate vacuuming haha)
He calls me to see how I’m doing. He’s nice like that.
He’s not perfect but he knows Jesus and he is righteous through Jesus.

So guess what?
He is not guilty or ignorant.
I don’t want him to be treated like he’s about to leave, lie, cheat, and act like some other man.
I don’t want him to be treated like he doesn’t know better than to do the right thing.
I don’t want him compared to so-and-so, lumped into a curse, the reckless words that come out of broken women’s mouths and ‘pierce like a sword’ (Proverbs 12:18).

On that note…
I don’t want girls throwing themselves at my brother because they fear that he won’t be the MAN and pursue the right one, the right way.

By the grace of God, my brother is a man and will continue to act like one.

The sad thing is that broken women are like MAGNETS to men who aren’t acting like men.
It’s a sick cycle of pain and brokenness.

Break the cycle.

Men can cook for themselves, clean up after themselves, dress themselves, and brush their teeth.
Men who don’t aren’t acting like grown men. Those dudes still need their moms. That’s not attractive!

Men can decide what to eat and what not to eat. Men who don’t aren’t acting like men.
Men CAN choose purity over pornography. Men who don’t aren’t acting like men.
Men can pursue a woman, the right way. Men who don’t aren’t acting like men.
Men can choose honesty and openness. Men who don’t aren’t acting like men.
Men can seek out wisdom and apply it. Men who don’t aren’t acting like men.
Men can honor their commitments.  Men who don’t aren’t acting like men.
Men can lead themselves and others spiritually. Men who don’t put forward any effort aren’t acting like men.
Men can be faithful. Men who cannot aren’t acting like men.
Men can be trusted. Men who cannot aren’t acting like men.

You would think it’s common sense, but…
You have a Standard.
You shouldn’t date men who aren’t acting like men.
Nothing about them should be attractive. You should be pulling them up, encouraging them to seek mentorship, seek wisdom, yes. Don't date them.
Pray for them and do not curse them.

Men need a chance, a clean slate.
Because of the cross of Christ,
they have a clean slate.

It’s Good Friday, and this one Man loves you a lot.
Loved you enough to die for you.

Will you extend His love and forgiveness
to those who hurt you?

Will you speak words that are affirming and respectful about the sons of God, made in His image?