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If you know me, you know I like to run.
God has recently helped me put running back in the hobby category.

Running is no longer a coping mechanism.

You'd think running is good for me, right? It's good for my health, good for my body, and I enjoy it… well…

I used to run away by running.

I used to run to running instead of to Jesus.

I'd have a bad day or I'd get angry or feel lonely or I had that aching feeling that something was missing and why oh why don't I already have whatever that is
and instead of kneeling to pray, I knelt to put my shoes on.

I'd look at my face in the mirror, nod in approval, and hold my head up.
I'd think 'you are strong, you got this' and something inside my heart would harden.

I'd run out the door, away from my problems.

And boy did I run.

I ran so much. I have run 3 marathons, don't even know how many half marathons I've done, because who even counts those, right? In 2010 and 2011, I know I ran way over 1000 miles. That's a lot for me.

The harder life got, the more I ran.

During my trip, I was stripped of the 'luxury' or rather the hindrance of escape.

Running was no longer available.
I had to run with someone, somewhere that I didn't know.
Safety was an issue.
I couldn't go when I 'needed' to, nor did I want to when everyone else went.
I had to sit there and reconcile my feelings, face anger, face fear, face loneliness, and I couldn't run. I had to realize that it wasn't about the workout, because my teammates were doing P90x and insanity, and I had no desire to join them. I had taken a good thing and made it my escape.

It's taken me a while to process this.

After much prayer and digging, God has redeemed running for me.
I can go back to enjoying it.
I don't 'have to' because the only thing I need is Jesus.
I don't expect running to fix my problems or to help me put them off.
I don't go run based on my emotions anymore, praise God!
Freedom!

I hope you search through your life and find the things that might be hindering you from Jesus, good or bad.

Running away might seem like a good idea in the moment, but it doesn't help you truly heal.
 

He longs to redeem you, to teach you that true comfort is only found in His arms.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”
Psalm 46:10

5 responses to “RUNNING AWAY”

  1. I went through this same thing. It was a hard but fantastic lesson to learn and now when I run, it’s for the joy 🙂

  2. Good stuff Helena, kinda convicting too. God spoke to me through this for sure so thanks!

  3. And the beauty of it all is to realize that JESUS is both the TRACK and the ‘FINISH LINE’ for the RACE… Amazing RACE! Love you, Mamae 🙂