IT’S A BOY, PART 1

Singleness is lived out by so many as if it were a pregnancy…

You are expecting.
You wait.
You wait in pain, even.
It hurts.
You wish he would just get here, because you want to hold him.
You want to look him in the eyes.

You get cravings, and you find yourself giving in, devouring sweets while silently declaring that you’re responsible, that you’re healthy, that you won’t feed him the junk you’re eating.
You measure.
You plan.
You have Pinterest boards full of details, things you’ve already decided and envisioned.
He’s not even here yet, but oh when he arrives, you will be prepared!
Good luck to him, because he honestly doesn’t get a say. He can’t.
How could he contend with all your expectations? He’s just a boy.

Have you treated your singleness like a pregnancy?

Then, when you have the boy, when you’ve dealt with the awkward, bloody process of I think you like me, maybe  and the sideways glances, winks, giggles, and you both get on the same page, you both might as well have a good long cry.
You thank the Lord for His good gifts. Finally! But no pressure! You’re just dating.

But now you have yourself a man baby on your hands.
You’ve expected him, and now he’s finally here.
You’re ready to be his everything.

You’re all set to compromise your whole life, because let’s face it, you already wasted your singleness completely obsessing over his arrival with a pregnancy mindset.

Now that he’s here, he is your world, trumping your friendships and even your dreams. I mean, what dreams? He was your dream.
He was your focus all along.

((If you’ve botched waiting, odds are, you’re gonna botch dating.))

Why?
Because the idol of the future relationship you’ve worshiped in your singleness is not going to deliver the love of Jesus.

Singleness is not to be lived in labor pains, feeding and fighting cravings, or nesting.

Why?
Because you have a wonderful, living God, who loves you. Oh, and He knows best.
He crafted you, and yes, He may have wired you for marriage, but you have a choice in your singleness.

You can sulk, numb, and cave to every craving, sitting and waiting for life to somehow unfold before you in the form of a relationship. You can throw a checkout counter tantrum like a toddler, to show the Lord that you’re mature enough to be a wife and mother right now. You can choose to be ungrateful for today, and remain in the mindset that you're missing out. Poor choice.

Or you can embrace the fact that God knows best, and He has you single because your singleness forwards His Kingdom best today.

You can go about your Father’s business.
You can ask Him to show you how to love best.
You can figure out why you were born,
What it is that motivates you,
What makes you come alive.

You can ask Him to reveal things about you that you never knew.
You can ask Him to heal wounds that would cause problems in your future relationships, and that most likely already cause problems in your current relationships. Hello!

You can stop planning a wedding, and start embracing the people around you.
You can stop daydreaming about your future children and serve the ones who are already born.

You wanna be a mom? Help out a friend who has a kid.
Go serve someone.

You’d be surprised at the things you learn when you step out of the romance movie reel in your head and actually walk as the hands and feet of Jesus in reality.

You can encourage.
You can thrive in your singleness.
You can worship God in your singleness.
You can be transformed by the renewing of your mind in your singleness.

Your worth is a gift from God, because you were created in His image.
It does not come from a relationship.
Your joy is a gift of God.
Happiness is not contingent on status.
I had to learn this. Every day I learn it more.

I thank God that He is my joy, and that nobody will ever, ever take His place.
I may be single, but my heart is taken.
I am head-over-heels in love with Jesus!
When you experience this fullness, this romance,
His peace guards your heart and mind.
He gives you hope.
He gives you dreams you never knew you had.
He gives you passions you were created to pursue.

[[He gave me Phylla House, a ministry for women who have been divorced or widowed. You can check it out here. The first Bible study launches April 8th.
Pray and watch.]]

Put His Kingdom ahead of flesh.
Put His timeline ahead of culture.
Love is here.
Love is now.

And when the right one comes, you won’t treat him like a baby.
More on that in Part 2.