Who Do You Say I Am?

All-American, Fun, Boring, Cute, Average, Funny, Short, Tall, Controlling, Nerdy, Ugly, Hipster, Fat, Rich, Poor, Smart, Stupid, Joyful, Divorced, Wanted, Gay, Brave, Fearful, Preppy, Rejected, Hot, Alcoholic, Loved, Curvy, Worthy, Orphan, Too skinny, Unworthy, Single, Taken, Depressed, Generous, Hard-working, Wife/Husband, Girlfriend/Boyfriend, Mother/Father, Sister/Brother, Young/Old, Friend, Undeserving, Do-it-all, Impatient, Awkward, Chill, Nag/Bitch, Sporty, Violent, Disciplined, Criminal, Lazy, Widow, Goody-two-shoes, Slut, Thoughtful, Forgetful, Irresponsible, Procrastinator, Player, Popular, Outcast, Lonely, Strong, Stubborn, Too nice, Screwed up, Accomplished, Moody, Failure, Happy, Enough…

When I’m asked those questions, I usually answer with my name, my age, where I’m from, and then I have a choice. How do I describe myself? What defines me?

I can say “I like to read” or “I like to run” or start listing out my hobbies. What I do speaks volumes about who I am, right?

I can label myself by my appearance or my personality, “I’m short and blonde” or “I’m nerdy and goofy.”

I can define myself by status, or my job “I’m single” or “I’m a medical laboratory scientist.”

I can talk about my faith and say “I’m a Christian.”

We have a choice about how to describe ourselves, but what do we really think about ourselves?

Jesus asked His disciples “who do you say I am?” and Peter replied “You are the Christ.” And Peter was right.

Jesus knew He was the Christ. He didn’t go around thinking “I’m just some carpenter” or “I’m just another prophet” because He knew His identity. What people said didn’t change who He was and still is.

Unfortunately, because we’re not all as awesome as Jesus, we let people’s words affect who we think we are.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” = bologna.

Words hurt. Words have a lot of power. Proverbs 18:22 says that the tongue has the power of life and death. When God created the earth, He spoke things into creation. When you speak, there are consequences. When you speak about somebody, or somebody speaks about you, it can really hurt or heal. Proverbs 12:18 says “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” A sword is by far worse than sticks and stones. A sword doesn’t just bruise the outside, but cuts to inside.

I’ve experienced those cuts.
Here’s a personal example: I had a boyfriend back in college who used to call me a bitch.

Nobody in my life had called me that before, and nobody called me that after, but that label stuck on my soul like gum on a shoe sole.
I behaved and spoke with an inward fear of being perceived as a nag/bitch.
I let things go, and purposefully didn’t bring things up. I didn’t talk about my emotions. I sugar-coated my frustrations.

I fully accepted that label and I agreed with it, but it wasn’t true.

He spoke those words out of anger, depression, and to hurt me. He wanted to defend himself for whatever grievance, and he knew he’d always win the argument if he took a stab at my identity.

That is not who I am!
I praise God I grew out of that distorted thinking, but I had to heal from it.

I’ve heard similar stories with the word “stupid”
and people who were raised being told they were stupid. That’s a direct dig at their identity, and it can affect their actions and words. It makes people shut down. It’s toxic.

There are people who can’t get past the mirror.
They define themselves by how fit or fat they are. You know who those people are by their facebook accounts, unfortunately. They either say “I hate my pictures” or they post 500 pictures of themselves in a bathing suit.
That is not who they are.

“If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.” 2 Cor 11:30

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”2 Cor 4:18

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

Some people define themselves by the other people in their lives, good or bad.
The enthusiast mommies/daddies and wifeys/hubbies, the widows, the divorced, the orphan, the sister or brother, popular or outcast, the engaged (oh the engaged!), etc, and they center their world around those people. Their hope is put on those people. God has called us to love others, and to be devoted to our families. I can tell you, after much much idolatry and placing relationships above God, other people do not define who I am. Why? Because if God took all those people away, I would still praise Him. Having or not having them isn’t who I am. It affects my daily life, but it doesn’t change my identity.

Money, money, money!
Nice car, nice job, nice house, then you’re okay. No money, no car, no job, no house, uh oh. Failure.
Stuff doesn’t change my identity either.

My sin does not define my identity.

Maker of Heaven and Earth, and you and I, had a plan when He created each one of us. He had our identity defined by His hands. He said we are worth dying for, and Jesus died to secure for us an unshakeable forgiveness and freedom.

“The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.” Romans 8:16

We are children of God.
God did not make us and declare us “wonderful” to have us overshadow our identity in Him with a false or temporary label.

People may say hurtful things along the way, but it is ultimately our choice to accept or reject what they say.

I pray that God reveals to you the false labels you’ve received or given yourself, and replaces them with the truth of your God-given identity:

a beloved, worthy child of God,
loved with unconditional love,
wonderfully made and
made righteous through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.
You are free and redeemed.
 

In the same way that somebody who grows up thinking they’re ugly can’t accept it when somebody calls them beautiful or handsome, we often don’t know how to accept God’s love. We question it, thinking “how could He love me after what I’ve done?” and we reason with it “would He still love me if I stumble again?” and we choose to grip tightly to our false labels. But His love is real, and it's true.

I found real freedom when I asked God to show me who I am.

“Father, this is what people say I am. But what about You? Who do you say I am?”

I'm His beautiful daughter, royal and chosen.
He loves me more than words can describe.
He thinks I’m funny and I make Him smile.
He knows my weaknesses, but He doesn’t think I’m stupid.
He teaches me patiently.
He celebrates with me when I finally understand His lessons.
He listens to my frustrations, but never does He curse me.
He counts my tears, and it breaks His heart when I cry.
He wants the best for me, and He doesn't want me to doubt that I deserve it.
He loves to spend time with me, and I’m never a bother.
He doesn’t define me by the things that I’ve lost or the sins I’ve committed.
He sees me as His beloved daughter, and I’m always welcome home.

I can’t change the truth. You can't change the truth.
We can choose to accept it or reject it, but God’s truth remains.

We have an irrevocable, eternal identity from Our Father in Heaven.
The best part?

It's true.