It shouldn’t take a certain balance in my AIM account for me to have peace or joy.

It shouldn’t be about the money.

It should be about my God, who was faithful before I was ever created.

He thought of me. He made me. He sustains me.

And now, duh, He’s provided, as always.

Here I am, in my happy place.

Is this financial provision any greater feat on God's part than saving me?

Anything more impossible than bringing my stubborn sinful soul into repentance?

I’m totally, completely Type A personality. I am a perfectionist, and a procrastinator, which is a deadly combination. I like to know ahead of time, and not be too rushed. I like working under pressure, but only if I have some kind of control.

I’ve had chest tightness, tachycardia, and hot flashes at a very young age, you see, I like to worry. I get anxious. I have had an anxiety attack before, at my old job. There’s nothing quite like having one too many patients bleeding to death and you’re in charge of making sure their life-saving blood is safe and ready quickly.

Now surrendering my life and all my plans to the Lord… oh that was tough. Knowing what I had to do. Knowing what I had to give up. Here’s what my old apartment looked like.

I had good furniture. And thank God I had good furniture, because I got to see it all sold.

I sat on my bed, under this very sign on my wall and had a full-blown meltdown, and I wrote about it.

I think I’ve cried more this year than I have in my whole life prior, including the baby years when all I did was cry, poop, and make unintelligible noises.

Imagine if the day I had applied for the WR, I had gotten a text from Jesus (oh you know Jesus probably texts) saying “sup babygirl, so I got news from Pops and the HS, and We are gonna hook you up with all the $$ for the trip on 11/16/11, so chillax, k? ILY”.

I would have been ecstatic. I would have applied, had no doubts about getting accepted, and been just cruising through the days, talking to people about the mission trip, doing my fundraisers, selling my stuff, and watching the money come in.

All smiles, right?

So what if I told you “Hey, you’re getting fully funded on March 12^th, 2012?”

And “Hey, you’re getting fully funded on May 24^th, 2012?”

And “Hey brother, you’re gonna be fully funded on June 29^th, 2012?”

“Oh and you, don’t worry, you’ll be fully funded August 7^th, 2012?”

…………

Do you get my point?

Will you be fully funded?

YES.

It’s a matter of WHEN.

Do you know when? No. Probably not.

But God does. He’s taking care of it.

Look at the testimonies of the other squads, if you don’t believe me.

People got funded! Hey, I got funded. Miracles can happen!

Please don’t wait until you’re funded to find a happy place and praise God for His provision. Please carry on about your day with a smile on your face, knowing it will happen.

Rejoice! You are also fully funded, it’s just a matter of when.