I swore I’d never be a missionary.
“I’m a sender! I root down and I’m a stayer! I stay! I can’t be going all over the place, I have to be steady! I wish I could be carefree enough to drop everything and go wherever! But I have to work and I’m not that kind of a person.”
– Helena, circa 2011.
But the Lord provided a great spoon with which to eat my words.
The perfect life I had designed for myself fell apart.
The rock-bottom situation brought me closer to my Savior.
I began pursuing Him first thing in the morning, craving His presence, wanting His discipline, begging for mercy and restoration.
Make something beautiful out of all this, Lord!
Even with that prayer, I still didn’t want to be a missionary!
No way, I just got a new job! It’s paying more than the previous, better benefits, I have my family nearby, my brother is staying with me over the summer! I have a church family, it’s amazing! I’m growing and I have accountability! I have a running group, and amazing friends. I am situated here. This is where the Lord wants me to be.
Move.
Huh???? Wait, that can’t be right… It makes no sense to move away. I’m set here.
MOVE.
Um okay, well… where? I have so many options!! Certainly to get a better job? Somewhere bigger and more exciting? How about New York City? That sounds fun.
GO.
Wait… Go? Okay I’ll apply in New York City, how about their #1 hospital?! See how it goes. Maybe I can plug into some good ministry there. Hmm ministry. Maybe I could look into what the churches there have going for missions, I could do local missions in NYC! How awesome would that be?!
YES.
Within hours of submitting my application, I had an email from a real person, from the hospital in NYC… wanting to know when I was coming to town. When could I physically be there?! Thank You Lord!! You provide, You open doors! But wait… what’s this about missions? The World Race???? Is this it, Lord??
As tears poured out, there it was, right in front of me.
Two phone calls on the same day …. NY-Presbyterian Hospital and the World Race. Both wanting to give me more information.
Here’s what we’re looking at for salary for you!
Here’s what it’s going to cost and the fundraising deadlines!
Here’s what we offer for benefits!
Here’s what it’d look like to backpack for 11 months.
Here’s when we’d like you to come interview!
Here’s when you’d come for training camp!
Really Lord? What do I do?
CHOOSE.
You can’t serve two masters. I chose God over money. I chose El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia, Tanzania, Rwanda, Uganda, Nepal, and India, over New York City.
To have done otherwise would have been disobedience for me.
God made it clear that His will doesn’t necessarily include human logic, and that although He’d provided for me and deeply rooted me in Temple… guess what… He wants me elsewhere.
I’m okay with that, as long as He leads me.
He promised to. He is faithful.
And my answered prayer: God is making something beautiful out of all this.
